TurboTax: The Rap

TurboTax: The Rap

Got my pen, got my paper, got my W2

But when it's time to pay my tax, I don't know what to do

So I call up Uncle Sam, "Sam I know I'm a fool,

But this tax stuff's tough, where they show all the rules?"

Well it's pretty simple, Remz, and you're prob'ly gonna laugh

Use your head to make some dough then go ahead and send us half

Then we take all the money, throw it in a pile

Toss it at some problems and we hope it makes you smile

So I send you half my money, where's it go from there?

Like I said, pork politics and "road repair"

Man, that ain't American, that all that's on the list?

I want you to find out, go and ask the IRS

You got the state, got the federal, the county and the town

Estate and sales, value added, property--and a frown

Medicare, Medicaid--meta-who? meta-what?

I better better get paid or you know what

I guess the IRS don't like to be defrauded

And if you even try, they'll complete an audit

And that's a process you don't want to see get started

Burden of proof's on you, yeah it's real retarded

But you can get TurboTax, it's da bomb da bomb

And it's as easy as taking your mom to prom

All you gotta do is hit up turbotax.com

So when you get ripped off, it doesn't take too long

Filing forms can freakin' make your face all purple

Pain and strain your brain because you're racing circles

But Vanilla Ice wouldn't shove you into hurdles

Vanilla Ice?  I loved him in Ninja Turtles!

So why use an accountant that's sorta gaudy?

Or more #2's than a porta-potty?

Don't let those fools keep your refund up in a closet

When even Ice is getting a direct deposit

Habib here, son, not having usual fun

Because I'm paying capital gains on my mutual funds

But you won't see me wishing on a four-leaf clover

When the IRS goes and asks me to bend over

Cuz with TurboTax deductions be hard to miss

So you can tell the IRS to audit this

It's got cool tools like audit defense

So now I can deduct my camel expense

They say two guarantees in life are death and taxes

But on the PC you don't deal with pens and faxes

Just let the software handle all exempt subtractions

While you play solitaire--now that's real relaxin'!

So to sum it up, they tax your clothes and food, dude

Cuz we know how to spend your money more than you do

So for April 15th, save what you can

TurboTax...now that's a real good plan.