Slow Jam

I see you sneaking a peak at me

I see you looking at me

While you sit and you chill

on the second shelf of the pantry

Just had a sandwich without you

Somehow it was soggy and dry

Only had baloney, homey

how I thought I would die

But I'm not dead, I need another,

it's just something I'm wishing

I got the bread and peanut butter

there's just one thing I'm missing

Grape or cherry, blueberry

put it in a can or not

All I know is don't be

putting on no apricot

We need to cover peanut butter

Spread it around the whole place

With some Skippy, Jif-y, hit me

put it up in my face

With some jelly in my belly

it can make for a fun ride

But the jam on my hands

can make it hard to stay alive

So I do what I do

when my computer doesn't run right

Yeah I be like USB, yeah

I be using a thumb drive

Yeah baloney is phoney

and speaking of phoney, homey

this Blackberry jelly sounds phone-y

Does this count as roaming?

Don't need no BLT-eating, G

Nothing against the tomato

But I need a spread on my bread

be it Wonder or potato

I got some brown whole wheat bread

from this store that I've been to

Only brown thing needed is the face

the sandwich be going into

I'm no organic-paniced fanatic

I'm not telling lies

I'll overlook the fact my jam is just

corn syrup and dye

See organic fertilizer

is you-know-what, don't you know it--

I'm not paying twice the price

for what I can find in a toilet

Cuz when I'm tasting berry paste

I feel like I'm in a dream

Could it be the riboflavin

or lack of vitamin C

I don't want you, Organic Jelly

no I don't want to meet you,

I'll teach you, you're a pregnant woman

 I'm the broken Propecia

And I ain't racist

The only time segregation's a sane plan

is when people put the

PB and J in the same can

Why not put the bread in there too?

Maybe dinner?  Dessert?

Don't forget to brush your teeth,

Here I'll throw in a squirt.

I always thought a jar of jelly

should've been OJ's wife

Cuz it's the only kinda woman

that it's okay to knife

While I'm doing the laundry

While I'm driving my truck

While I'm watching A.I

Man, this movie sucks...

In a can or a bottle

While I throttle my car

In my mouth or a container

Oh, they both are ajar

But it's a slow jam not a def jam

So I'll handle my nerves

I keep the dandy candy handy, man

A can of preserves

Slow...

Like when you're driving and see a stopped school bus...

Jam...

Like when you stick your kid in a shoe box...