Fantasy Football: The Rap

Fantasy Football: The Rap


Well it's that time of year, time for making a team

Time for dippin' in the dip and then be scrapin it clean

You don't even own a rap album, you're a hater, you mean?

I got more 50 Cent than a newspaper machine


Well it's fantasy football, and Manning be took y'all

But I got me the next highest pick

It ain't the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog

And if you don't believe me, ask Michael Vick


Well we're all online and we be drafting, G

Have a peak at my fantasy magazine

Hey the 'zine ain't supreme, I got stats n' sheets

I ain't tradin' LaDanian, so quit asking me


People want my third pick but I ain't having that

Because you know I gotta take Mike Vanderjagt

Yo, what's the deal, Remz?  Another pick from Buffalo?

Yeah, I'm picking up more bills than Pacman Jones


Rounds winding down, I'm finding out

I'm gonna need another wide out, so I'm whining now

Folks on the clock, Colts on the block

Can't tell if Randle El is da bomb or not


Head-to-head league with me?  Boy, you're playing with fire

Because I am the king of the waiver wire

Picked up Jones-Drew before he ever got a run

And I cut Tank Johnson 'fore he ever bought a gun


I know the matchups man, and they ain't hard to pick

Never hear me say "man, I should've started him."

Don't need no expert picks, that's appalling, see

Sunday morning Ron Jaworski be calling me


My war room setup cannot be bested

Checking out the 'net to see who got arrested

My players play even if they're sore or not

I don't cheer for teams, I just hope they score a lot


Well my starting five'll make you start to cry

And I'll beat you even if my starters got a bye

Picking up top players even in the late rounds

Got more sleepers here than the Heaven's Gate house


Try to trade with me, I'm gonna clean you out

Take your top running back and the mortgage to your house

Think I'm gonna play nice?  Well then you don't know me

See you in Week 16, I'll be the one with the trophy.