McDonald’s: The Rap

McDonald's: The Rap

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post

With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast

Thinkin' I'm-a change it up--yeah that's always fun

What you reckon, Remz?  A McDonald's run

So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend

Yo, I found a five.  Man, that's Canadian.

How 'bout a loonie?  A twonie?  A spoon or The Goonies?

Oh, it's 10:25.  Dude, you gotta move, G.

Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor

Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34

Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express

You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness

Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare

Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?"

A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son

A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk

Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh...

All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah

How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor?

No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel

Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend

And I want them eggs poached like an elephant

Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?"

No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola!

Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot

Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet"

Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name

Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame

Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later

Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters

Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch

Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch

It just takes two bucks and I get what I need

Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese

"Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it

But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it?

If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should

It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good

Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend

Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again

Enter the store, first you holla, then you

Pick a couple items off the dollar menu

Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard

Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard.

A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce

Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit

Want a water?  You can pay up there for spring

Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing!

They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy"

Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy

Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant

It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant

People say it's bad, but I don't believe them

McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman

Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop!

Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc